Surviving Summer (E4)

Day Four: Back to surviving. The small people I borrowed yesterday ended up sleeping over. I'm sure I could make money loaning out Little Miss Mouth for her powers of persuasion. She rallied her mates and they basically took it in turns to plead until eventually I relented for the sake of my sanity. Parenting level: pitiful. Plus the B-boy was in overnight respite having his very own sleepover which meant looking after extra kids was actually possible.
They woke up at the ungodly hour of 4:49. I ignored them, and the banging in the kitchen, and the mess I knew they were probably making getting 'breakfast' (aka shitty sugary cereal which they are only allowed in the holidays, btw *smug nod*). When I did finally decide to face the music, I found them piled up on every single cushion/sofa/blanket item we own. Kinda cute really.
B was out and about today, and the weather wasn't exactly beach-worthy, so I seized the opportunity to take the middle two to Despicable Me 3. Great movie, definitely go see it. En route via the beach we had to use the facilities, and a hilarious exchange ensued when we came out.
Drama Diva: Mum. I don't want to be rude but this is too funny not to tell you.
Me: OK.....?
DD (launching into dramatic storytelling mode): So, I was standing outside the loos waiting for you, and this lady came in. She was, hmm, shall we say, rather wide in this *makes rubber ring motion around bum* area and this *same rubber ring motion around tummy* area.
Me: Right?
DD: So she tries to go in the loo, and I hear a bang. Then I see her back out *dramatically demonstrates reverse move out of toilet cubicle*
Me: OK?
DD: And then mum, she goes into another toilet, but this time she's wised up, and she goes in sideways, like this *turns and demonstrates sideways crab walk into toilet cubicle*
At this point, I'll admit, me and the smallest girl were cracking up. I promise I'm not size-ist, but the way middle girl told it was absolute comedy gold.
So that was my day. A pizza express lunch to avoid cooking duties later since I was flying solo with teatime and bedtime, some cracking convos, a great movie, and a smallest too tired from her nightlife shenanigans to even attempt any sass today. On the plus, no seizures. On the minus, beige pump shit. Swings and roundabouts. Oh and Asda, because bog roll. That's just the way we roll...

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