Posts

More than a Muggle...

Image
Oxford. Week three. General chaos, and huge feelings of what-the-actual-fuck-am-I-doing, alongside generally drowning in the mile-long reading list. So far, I’ve learned a few key things about myself.
    1-Looking after one person is decidedly difficult when you’ve spent your entire life to date looking out for everyone else. Juggling a thousand jobs with pinpoint precision? No bother. Batch cooking dinners and figuring out childcare spreadsheets of destiny? A walk in the park. Ish. Food shopping at Tesco for one without automatically picking up the industrial sized everything? Major challenge.
     2-I have Unrealistic Expectation Syndrome. I’m not sure if it’s an actual thing, but if it isn’t it should be. I have been blessed (or cursed, depending how you look at it) with the ability to retain information fairly quickly and with decent understanding. After my first philosophy of educational research (yes, it’s a thing) lecture, I came out wanting to cry. Despite having spent the en…

Oxford-the start of a journey

Image
This past week has been a whirlwind. On Saturday I moved up to my student digs in Oxford - and yes, the words 'student' and 'Oxford' still seem wholly oxymoronic in a sentence involving me. I'm lodging in the arse end of the city, far far away from Harry Potter land, which means I still get to keep a foot in the real world while I'm up there. It also means I'm not entirely overwhelmed constantly by the insanity that is the University of Oxford. Don't get me wrong, I feel as though all my Christmases have come at once with getting the incredible opportunity to study there. As an academic institution it really is the dogs bollocks, and if nerdy academics were kids in sweet shops, Oxford would be none other than the chocolate factory of Mr Willy Wonka himself. But it's an odd place with a fantasy feel-a Disneyland for geeks, if you will. And then there's me. Charlie. Under-cultured, under-global and feeling like the luckiest kid in the world.

Some…

Duck Duck Goose

Image
Do you remember that game from when you were a kid-the one where everyone sat in a circle, someone was 'it' and they walked round gently tapping (or passive-aggressively smacking) you on the head while repeating a word? Whoever was the 'chosen' one-designated by an odd out-of-sync word- had to get up, run round the circle and try and beat the person 'on' back to their space. Whoever lost got to be the new head-smacker. Excellent stuff.

Right now life feels like an eternal game of duck duck goose; life is 'on' and it never fucking lets up with tagging me. It also never lets me win. Result? Me, running round the circle, everyone else watching as life chases me like a bitch, no doubt feeling a little smug that it's not them being permanently tagged, exhausted and inevitably losing. I'm not a natural runner either *ahem-boobs* so it's not just losing. It's perpetual, sweaty, red-faced losing just to stay in the game. 
That's exactly how …

Broken systems, broken people

Image
Today was the dreaded budget review. For those of you not familiar with acronyms, let me throw out a few that will confuse the fuck out of you as much as they did me the first time I heard them.

NHS: National Health Service (gentle start, bear with me)
CHC- Continuing Health Care: a package of care allocated to those deemed worthy. Usually decided with the help of a (rapidly changing) 'standardised' assessment tool by Panel Gods*
CCG- Clinical Commissioning Group: The local NHS group responsible for the CHC pot of funding. Other responsibilities include recruiting 'appropriate' Panel Gods* 
EBD- Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties: NOT my kid being a shit. Genuine issues. 
SLD and complex needs- Severe Learning Disabilities and complex needs: I think if you look this one up there's a photo of B right there. 
ASD-Autism Spectrum Disorder: a neuro-developmental disorder comprising primarily social and sensory difficulties. 
SLT- Senior Leadership Team: School Gods…

Surviving Summer (E20)

Image
So. Last day of the summer holidays and I'm breathing a very loud thank fuck as we enter back into the safe and predictable routine of life.... Ha! If only. Nothing is ever predictable. And things most definitely aren't safe with the B-boy around. Hats off to you Cath Kidston types who can juggle homemade playdough and tandem breastfeeding in a beautifully clean vegan organic home while still looking like you just stepped off the pages of the Joules brochure. Good for you. But I'll admit. I dragged my kids through the holidays and survived by the skin of my teeth. There was mess. And dirt. And chaos. And much beige processed shit which somehow passes as food. My general motto in life is fuck it, feet first and figure it out-much to the annoyance of the planners in my family. At this point in time, the Teen Queen is heading back tomorrow in last year's too-small shirts thanks to my epic organisational skills. We also noticed the last time we'd signed her school dia…

Surviving Summer (E19)

Image
Almost there! School is back in T-8 days. AND I'M ALIVE TO TELL THE TALE! Knackered, bruised, scratched up and with even fewer fucks to give than six weeks ago, but breathing none the less. And actually, despite it being eight days, for four of those I'm unashamedly leaving the kids to their own devices (with Dad and carer supervision, of course- I'm not wholly insane just yet) while I jet off to deepest darkest Dorset for a festival. Festivals are my favourite and my best. You know how everyone has those things in life; the things that revive and energise..... The stuff that feels like home? For me, it's live music, adventuring and nature. Festivals are all of that. Incredible live music. People adventures. And all in a field under star-studded skies in the arse end of nowhere. As you might have guessed, I'm super excited. This point in the holidays is rough; I'm exhausted from crap sleep, no routine, and the brutal physical effort of keeping B safe. All my m…