Tory Stories (ii)

Things that give me the rage:

People who leave one straggly sheet of toilet paper on the roll to evade replacement responsibility. You people are worse than Satan.

Tory policy on disability. This current government have turned the system upside down to try and shake out the fakers, meanwhile making life fairly hellish for the 99.3% (fact check here) who claim benefits entirely genuinely. No one wants to be disabled for fuck's sake. No one chooses to rely on a system not fit for purpose. No one enjoys being subjected to copious amounts of admin and dehumanising, anxiety inducing assessments by unfamiliar professionals to gleefully reap their extravagant reward of £21.80 (lower rate), or £82.30 (highest rate) per week. Try living on that and see how far you get. Rent? Forget it. You're screwed. Add to that the constant stigmatisation of the media and wider society - oh, and the fact you actually have to live with a chronic disability in a culture where human worth is so often measured by the fucked up yardstick of economic contribution. Not sure that's ever anybody's choice.

Wee-drippers who don't wipe the seat. For the love of God, why? Enough said.

The Daily Fail. Vile, disgusting excuse for journalism.

The fact that my eight year old can usually out-argue me through intelligent reasoning. And then when I rant at people about aforementioned gobby, hilarious eight-year old, I just get the same raised-eyebrow look across the board. How could I expect anything else from the fruit of my own fair loins.

Bullshitters. In all forms. That includes most of the Tory politicians I've ever followed. To steal an Australian expression, I'm all about the balls-out. That'll make sense when you check this out, Danny Bhoy is hilarious.

Radio flickers. No. Just no. Stick to one station. Ain't nobody got time for thirty three second song snippets.

Litter droppers. Lazy arses. Put your shit in the bin.

Overambitious lane swimmers, usually blokes in my experience. If you can't keep up in the medium lane, accept you're a slow-lane swimmer. Humble lane swimmers are just as bad. If you're overtaking every other swimmer, you probably need to promote yourself to the fast lane. Getting kicked in the face while you manoeuvre round the rest of us isn't particularly enjoyable.

Entitlement. It stinks. And despite normally being attributed to the scuzziest among us - the benefit scroungers....the immigrants....the slutty single mothers - it's usually the gold-plated fingers tapping at having to wait to be seated in a restaurant, and the people who presume their connections excuse them from the usual processes of moving forward in life who display such vomit-worthy behaviour.

Tories. Tories and their bullshit stories.

Presumption that politics is some far off removed concept and has no real impact on the day to day. For all of us, politics matters, whether we like it or not. As much as I'd love to live in a rainbow-unicorn free love utopia, Instagram inspiration ain't gunna get us there. Unfortunately, we live in a supposed democracy where whoever's in power gets to decide on things that universally affect every single person. And as a democratic society, it's up to every single one of us to make our collective voices heard. Please don't be so naive as to presume this has no personal bearing on you. Politics is power. And people in power directly influence your day to day, from the price of your butter to the price of your house; from what happens when you get sick to who pays for your funeral if you snuff it. Please vote on Thursday. Vote with as much effort as you can muster, and as much care as you can afford to give it. This shit matters.

#ToriesOut2017 #justsayin 😉


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